Right now it feels difficult
Because apathy kills
And hearts break
And we were just
Enjoying ourselves
Knitting scarves
for each other
Didn’t acknowledge
That we only wanted them
To hide old scars
See, if you like me
And I like you
Then neither of us
has to
Didn’t realise
How noose tight
We coiled the fabric
It was so much fun
Until the ground gave way

I know these things happen
Between humans
And I know it’s hurt more before
But that doesn’t really make it better.
Under a dark roof I wonder
If you’re miserable too,
In a dark room
I finally develop the negatives
In retrospect I always wish
I’d taken more pictures
See I’ve never really
Believed in forever

I just think it’d be nice
To love again
Be it myself
Or someone else
Feel my heart again
And I want to thank you
For the conversation
But you’re still caught
In my throat
A painful inflammation
Fuck, makes it hard to breathe
I swear I’m not being dramatic
I’m just trying to sleep

But here I am again
Staring galaxies through the ceiling
It’s where I always come back down
Thanking my lucky stars
That memory is weak
But not a fragile thing
I know I’d shatter it
So maybe it’s okay
Maybe I’ll sleep tonight
Like most nights
Maybe that lost consciousness
is a blessing, lunar recurse
Damn, I’m not sure
But nights are like days
They can get lonely
In a small room
And I prefer little spoon
So please, Ether
Swallow me whole

-J